#humor

All human males were as fascinated with cars as they were with breasts. ↗

— Anita Clenney

#awaken-the-highland-warrior #breasts #bree #cars #faelan

Having a sense of humor has served me more than it has hurt me - just in the sense that it has allowed me to keep my sanity. ↗

— Dee Dee Myers

#having #humor #hurt #just #keep

If you’re going to hold a grudge, at least put on an oven mitt before you pick it up.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #grudge #hold-a-grudge #humor

I frequently observe that one pretty face would be followed by five and thirty frights. ↗

— Jane Austen

#girls #humor #mean #ugly #funny

How do you know you are who you are? How do you know you’re not simply a clone of who you think you are? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #identity #funny

Was Charles I too stubborn to listen to reason? Could Civil War have been averted if the king had been more willing to negotiate? His great enemy Cromwell always maintained that the king had been swayed at the last moment by his queen, the beautiful Henrietta Maria. We can believe Cromwell's claim that the queen told her husband to be firm. But the wicked, spiteful, altogether irresistable quote often attributed to her by Puritan writers of the time is almost certainly false. "Oh my love, if you cannot remain firm in the bedchamber, at least try to remain firm with your subjects! ↗

— Antonia Fraser

#impotence #beauty

Finally, Charlie gave up the hunt and placed (the puppy) back on the floor, dispatching fleas was not his idea of a romantic evening, unless you happened to be a twisted exterminator, he thought. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#fleas #funny #humor #humour #pass-the-fleas-please

Girls are always complaining that they can never meet a nice guy. Nice guys are everywhere. The problem isn’t that there aren't any nice guys, the problem is that all of the nice guys are ugly. ↗

— Carroll Bryant

#funny-as-hell #funny-but-sad #funny-but-true #funny-humor #hilarious

Oh, hell, he'd look hot in a chicken suit. ↗

— Cyn Balog

#guys #hot #humor #funny

Rhiannon's Law #16: If it looks like a rabbit, and it hops like a rabbit, run the other way and fast. That shit is liable to tear you arm off. ↗

— J.A. Saare

#funny #humor #humour #rabbit #funny