#humor

When Scythrop grew up, he was sent, as usual, to a public school, where a little learning was painfully beaten into him, and from thence to the university, where it was carefully taken out of him; and he was sent home like a well-threshed ear of corn, with nothing in his head. ↗

— Thomas Love Peacock

#humor #school #university #education

REST IN PEACE, MR. PARKER. 'You want us to be surreptitious?' Hawk said. 'Surreptitious?' Sapp said. 'I educated in Head Start,' Hawk said. 'Really worked,' Sapp said. 'No reason to be covert,' I said. 'You too?' Sapp said. 'Nope,' I said. 'I'm a straight Anglo white guy of European ancestry. We're naturally smart.' 'You missed Bernard,' Sapp said. 'Tall straight Anglo white guy,' I said. 'Hey,' Bernard said. ↗

— Robert B. Parker

#pot-shot #education

I wished there was some kind of switch on my brain. That I could turn it off in the same way that I could turn off the television. Just click it off and immediately empty my mind of all these images and worrying thoughts. And simply leave a blank screen. Or if I could just remove my head and put it on the bedside table and forget about it until morning. And then attach it again when I needed it. ↗

— Marian Keyes

#worrying #family

5. Television is of great educational value. It teaches you while still really young how to (a) kill, (b) rob, (c) embezzle, (d) shoot, (e) poison, and generally speaking, (f) how to grow up into a Wild West outlaw or gangster by the time you leave school. 6. Television puts a stop to crime because all the burglars and robbers, instead of going to burgle and rob, sit at home watching The Lone Ranger, Emergency Ward Ten and Dotto. ↗

— George Mikes

#television #education

As for my own truncated secondary education, my head was in the clouds as my mom would say, or if you asked my father, up my ass. ↗

— Michael J. Fox

#education

Let me tell you something, I have never stated this, but you idiots refer to me as some moroon, I have a aster and a lwa degree. I simply cannot take the bar because of my stupid past in my 20’s. You people do not want to go up against m on education because most of you will lose badly. ↗

— Larry Sinclair

#education

The past is an educational toy for the present. It should be discarded the moment its usefulness is outgrown. ↗

— Tom Morrison

#romance #satire #stock-market #education

Board the cows! We've come to enslave your marigolds. ↗

— Libba Bray

#nonsense #silly #humor

It was a trap after all,” Alric said. He turned to Royce. “My apologies for doubting your sound paranoia. ↗

— Michael J. Sullivan

#humor

I had been to school most all the time, and could spell, and read, and write just a little, and could say the multiplication table up to six times seven is thirty-five, and I don't reckon I could ever get any further than that if I was to live forever. I don't take no stock in mathematics, anyway. ↗

— Mark Twain

#humor #mathematics #school #education