#humor

That's why when major badasses greet each other in movies, they don't say anything, they just nod. The nod means 'I am a badass, and i recognize that you, too, are a badass'... ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor

Love is annoying like that. It takes away your sense of humor and self-preservation. ↗

— Audrey Hart

#love #the-dig #humor

MORGAN: Help me out here. THEO: What's up? MORGAN: Don't make me spell it out, Theo. THEO: Oh. MORGAN:Just talk dirty for a while. THEO: Blue-sky thinking. Thought shower. Full spectrum leadership. MORGAN: NOT corporate dirty. Sex dirty. THEO: I wouldn't know where to start. ↗

— Con Riley

#humor #humor

Most horses don't walk backwards voluntarily, because what they can't see doesn't exist. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

A pretty girl can do no wrong. ↗

— Edward Abbey

#humor

From this moment on I'd dedicate my life to rock and roll and take as many drugs as possible. What could possibly go wrong? ↗

— Craig Ferguson

#humor #rock-and-roll #humor

However, displayed right alongside all the Confederate flag paraphernalia is a bunch of American flag merch – American flag place mats, patriotic “body crystals,” flag stickers you attach to your skin. Personally, I’m small-minded and literal enough that I see the two symbols as contradictory, especially in a time of war. But I fear that the consumer who buys a Confederate flag coffee cup, which she will then put on her American flag place mat, is the sort of sophisticated thinker who is open-minded enough that she is capable of hating blacks and Arabs at the same time. ↗

— Sarah Vowell

#humor

When you can carry five full dinner platters on your left arm, you should be able to vote, even if you're not eighteen. ↗

— Joan Bauer

#humor

Love is a winding mountainous road. Do you have an extra unicycle and handlebar mustache I can borrow?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #love #mountains #mustache #mustaches

It's okay to be sad. Everyone gets sad now and then. Even me. ↗

— Nicholas Sparks

#life #humor