#humor

I had a dream about you last night.. You were in the amazon rain forest yipping like a dog. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night... I was a brick and you were a blanket. Damn that improbability drive. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You spoke to me. That’s how I knew it was only a fantasy. My mumbled response was too logical for me to be asleep. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night. Eons ago, we created a Universe, then sat back and watched miniature versions of ourselves try to make all the same mistakes we did. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night... Unfortunately, it wasn't a dream. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

...and at the bottom, all tragedies are stupid. Give me a choice and I'll take A Midsummer Night's Dream over Hamlet every time. Any fool with steady hands and a working set of lungs can build up a house of cards and then blow it down, but it takes a genius to make people laugh. ↗

— Stephen King

#dreams

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands ↗

— Jerry Lewis

#love #romance #dreams

Why was it, she sometimes wondered, that in dreams we can't do the simplest things? Like a crying puppy is standing on some broken glass and you want to pick it up and brush the shards off its pads but you can't because you're balancing a ball on your head. Or you're driving and there's this old guy on crutches and you go, to Mr. Feder, your Driver's Ed teacher, Should I swerve? And he's like, Uh, probably. But then you hear this big clunk and Feder makes a negative mark in his book. ↗

— George Saunders

#humor #dreams

Educational system in America is not as good as in China. You may be an idiot. It is hard to tell with you white people. ↗

— Kate Danley

#sarcastic #education

If you invited a hedge wizard to a party, he would spend half the evening talking to your potted plant. And he would spend the other half listening. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #puns #equality