#humor

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #misattributed #spoonerism #wordplay #humor

An idealist is one who, on noticing that a rose smells better than a cabbage, concludes that it makes a better soup. ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#cooking #fragrance #humor #idealism #metaphors

Elizabeth: "Your balls, Mr. Darcy?" Darcy: "They belong to you, Miss Bennett. ↗

— Seth Grahame-Smith

#humor

When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles, scream and shout. ↗

— Cory Doctorow

#little-brother #humor

Are you suggesting coconuts migrate? ↗

— Graham Chapman

#silliness #humor

You know how spooky Ashwini is. She called an hour ago to tell me she has a secret stash of handheld grenade launchers she thought I might want to know about. My response was, 'What the fuck? ↗

— Nalini Singh

#humor

Do you sleep naked? ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#humor

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva ↗

— Josh Groban

#humor

It is the iron." Grimalkin picked his way over a puddle, then leaped atop a fallen tree, shaking out his paws."This close to the false king's realm, his influence is stronger that ever. It will be worse once you are actually within its borders." Puck snorted."Doesn't seem like it's affecting you much, Cat." That is because I am smarter than you and prepare for these things." "Really? How would you prepare for me tossing you into a lake? ↗

— Julie Kagawa

#humor #puck #humor

Every ounce of my cynicism is supported by historical precedent. ↗

— Glen Cook

#humor #life #humor