#humor

Check her out. She‟s fuckin‟ hot.” “Wedding band,” I say. “She sings in one?" “No, jackass. She's wearing one. ↗

— Caprice Crane

#humor

Playful,” Amanda repeated, shaking her head. The idea contradicted all her long-held ideas of romance and sex. One did not “play” in bed. What did he mean? Was he implying that sexual partners enjoyed jumping on the mattress and throwing pillows, as children did? ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor

Life plots elegantly. ↗

— Alice Randall

#humor

You will leave now," said Grdankl the Strong. "Go! Do not be afraid! If you die, it is okay! ↗

— Ridley Pearson

#humor #humor

Aw, kiss him, Gwen, clamored a hundred perky eggs. Shut up, she rebuked. We don't even know him, and until moments ago we thought he was dead. That's no way to start a relationship. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#eggs #gwen #humorous #karen-marie-moning #kiss

Oh, drop the act, Tinkerbell, and get rid of my problem. Then we’ll talk. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#humor

Jacob: I've never seen so much manure. Wade: Baggage stock horses. They pack'em in 27 a car. Jacob: how do you stand the smell? Wade: what smell? ↗

— Sara Gruen

#life #humor

So you questioned him?" Raisa prompted. "What did he say for himself?" "Well, the first thing Gillen does is steal his purse and beat him with a club." Amon said. ↗

— Cinda Williams Chima

#club #humor #question #humor

Keeping that man out of trouble was like trying to return a whore to chastity. ↗

— Lydia Dare

#humor

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it. ↗

— Dave Barry

#heath #humor #humor