#humor

I don't know how you persist in being so stubborn-" "It's a superpower. I was bitten by a radioactive mule. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#retort #sarcasm #stubborn #superpower #humor

I ripped my left arm out of his hand and slammed my elbow into his solar plexus. He exhaled in a gasp. I lunged for the dagger and sat on top of him, my knees pinning his arms, my dagger on his throat. He lay still. “I give up,” he said and smiled. “Your move.” Er. I was sitting atop the Beast Lord in my underwear, holding a knife to his throat. What the hell was my next move? ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humor #kate #humor

In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke. ↗

— Hermann Hesse

#discordianism #eternity #humor #joke #humor

She accused me of wearing pants from the salvation army." "Rose, your pants ARE from the salvation army." "That's SO not the point! ↗

— Richelle Mead

#humor

One day,' Orest said, looking at him comically, 'you will say something that is less than practical and sensible, something that is driven by no forethought and nothing but passion, and I will probably collapse with shock. ↗

— Mercedes Lackey

#humor

And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked. ↗

— Jane Austen

#commentary #humor #snark #humor

Claire was struggling through last summer’s diary volume when Myrnin popped in through the portal, wearing a big floppy black hat and a kind of crazy/stylish pimp coat that covered him from neck to ankles, black leather gloves, and a black and silver walking stick with a dragon’s head on it. And, on his lapel was a button that said, If you can read this, thank a teacher. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#myrnin #humor

Closed. Plenty of time to see it later, remember?" He leads me into the courtyard, and I take the opportunity to admire his backside. Callipygian. There is something better than Notre-Dame. ↗

— Stephanie Perkins

#romance #humor

Maybe I should, I don't know leave? Because this is starting to sound like one of those reality shows I don't want to be in. Maybe you guys want to take turns in the confessional booth. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#tv #humor

I wanted desperately to get all hot and sweaty with this guy, but I knew from experience that hormones affected my sensibilities like alcohol or pot. In the throes of passion I tend to vow my eternal love to a penis I might use and abuse, with little regard for the man connected to it. I'm trying to keep that habit. ↗

— Susan Volland

#humor #love #lust #males #passion