#humor

Slow down and explain to us plebeians. If you have to, use sock puppets. ↗

— Lish McBride

#humor

Take life seriously but none of the people in it. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#life #nonsense #people #humor

There are certain things in life that just suck. Pouring a big bowl of Lucky Charms before realizing the milk is expired, the word 'moist,' falling face-first into the salad bar in front of the entire lacrosse team . . . ↗

— Lauren Morrill

#life-sucks #humor

As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understnd the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure heardship and trial. ↗

— Joseph B. Wirthlin

#humor

Ik voel me vandaag beroerd. Maar laat ons om ons heen zien. Sommige mensen worden reeds bij het begin van hun leven zwaar gestraft: zij worden als vrouw geboren. ↗

— Gerard Reve

#dutch #humor #ongeluk #vrouw #humor

This nation is like all the others that have been spewed upon the earth--ready to shout for any cause that will tickle its vanity or fill its pocket. What a hell of a heaven it will be when they get all these hypocrites assembled there! - Letter to J. H. Twichell, 1/29/1901 ↗

— Mark Twain

#truth #humor

From time to time, you may see a girl wearing her black opaque tights as pants. They are, in fact, not. ↗

— Nina Garcia

#fashion #humor #pants #style #tights

Personally, I prefer Stevie Wonder," confessed the Chink, "but what the hell. Those cowgirls are always bitching because the only radio station in the area plays nothing but polkas, but I say you can dance to anything if you really feel like dancing." To prove it, he got up and danced to the news. ↗

— Tom Robbins

#passion #philosophy #humor

What is [insert name here]? Does it taste good? ↗

— Ken Akamatsu

#humor #love #su #turtle #humor

Mickey Cray had been out of work ever since a dead iguana fell from a palm tree and hit him on the head. ↗

— Carl Hiaasen

#humor #humor