#humor

Giving someone shit, Rodney knew was a sign of love in Catholic families. And the same held true for Rodney and his friends. But he wished it weren't Keith's default setting, his auto-reply to everything. ↗

— Steve Rushin

#family

Die puny human! ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#humor

I'm the terrorist, do what I say or I'll terrorize you. ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#sci-fi #humor

English? Who needs that? I'm never going to England. ↗

— Matt Groening

#humor

He had relieved whores beyond counting of frocks, stays, chemises, garters, and stockings. He had never before in his life unbuttoned a gently bred maiden's glove. He'd committed salacious acts beyond number. He'd never before felt so depraved as he did now, as the last pearl came free and he drew the soft kid down, baring her wrist, and his dark fingers grazed the delicate skin he'd exposed. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#jessica-trent #romance #humor

Some things are best left a blur. Births and Visa Bills. ↗

— Sophie Kinsella

#shopaholic #humor

The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine. ↗

— Bill Cosby

#humor

I don't like him." Looking from Kale to Alex, Ginger said, "I don't like cabbage. Do you see me taking on the produce section of the food store? ↗

— Jus Accardo

#old-lady #wisdom #food

How DARE the villainous cads be as clever as the heroes. ↗

— Mercedes Lackey

#humor

If you have the choice between humble and cocky, go with cocky. There's always time to be humble later, once you've been proven horrendously, irrevocably wrong. ↗

— Kinky Friedman

#humorous #inspirational #life #funny