#humor

What a strange family you are! Is your name Lettie too? ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#humor #lettie-hatter #family

The best defense is a confusing offense. ↗

— Kimberly Pauley

#relationships #tactics #humor

There were people who believed their opportunities to live a fulfilled life were hampered by the number of Asians in England, by the existance of a royal family, by the volume of traffic that passed by their house, by the malice of trade unions, by the power of callous employers, by the refusal of the health service to take their condition seriously, by communism, by capitalism, by atheism, by anything, in fact, but their own futile, weak-minded failure to get a fucking grip. ↗

— Stephen Fry

#humor #satire #family

The woman is the home. That's where she used to be, and that's where she still is. You might ask me, What if a man tries to be part of the home -- will the woman let him? I answer yes. Because the he becomes one of the children. ↗

— Marguerite Duras

#humor #love #men #women #family

In order to get the things I want, it helps me to pretend I’m a figure in a daytime drama, a schemer. Soap opera characters make emphatic pronouncements. They ball up their fists and state their goals out loud. ‘I will destroy Buchanan Enterprises,’ they say. ‘Phoebe Wallingford will pay for what she’s done to our family.’ Walking home with the back half of the twelve-foot ladder, I turned to look in the direction of Hugh’s loft. ‘You will be mine,’ I commanded. ↗

— David Sedaris

#soap-operas #family

The ill-informed masses included her own family among their ranks, a family that specialized in being both inconvenient and asinine. ↗

— Gail Carriger

#humor #soulless #family

Don't call me darling. I'm a driving instructor! ↗

— Hilary McKay

#family

Hell, any plan that added "and then we pray" is not a trip to Disneyland. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#humor

The rule of the Morrell family was over, and Richard owned a used-car lot and Monica worked at a nail salon, until one day she got run over by a bus. Very sad. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#monica-morrell #morganville #family

Still it is true that many same-sex couples want nothing more than to join society as fully integrated socially responsible family-centered taxpaying Little League-coaching nation-serving respectably married citizens. So why not welcome them in Why not recruit them by the vanload to sweep in on heroic wings and save the flagging and battered old institution of matrimony from a bunch of apathetic ne'er-do-well heterosexual deadbeats like me ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#gay-marriage #gay-rights #homosexual #humor #marriage