#humor

The driver got out smiling. He looked about seventeen or eighteen, and for a second, I had the uneasy feeling it was Luke, my old enemy. This guy had the same sandy hair and outdoorsy good looks. But it wasn't Luke. His smile was brighter and more playful. (Luke didn't do much more than scowl and sneer these days.) The Maserati driver wore jeans and loafers and a sleeveless T-shirt. "Wow" Thalia muttered. Apollo Is hot." "He's the sun god," I said. "That's not what I meant. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#funny #hot #humor #percy-jackson #funny

Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels. ↗

— Tim Vine

#humor #humor

She just dropped it and ran!! ↗

— Mercedes Lackey

#humor

I resisted the urge to pour mouthwash in my brain. ↗

— Devon Monk

#humor

If your girlfriend is pressuring you to make a life-changing decision, tell her a single vote is hardly going to make a difference. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #voting #change

I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset. ↗

— Hannah Harrington

#humor #humour #funny

But the helmet had gold decoration, and the bespoke armorers had made a new gleaming breastplate with useless gold ornamentation on it. Sam Vimes felt like a class traitor every time he wore it. He hated being thought of as one of those people that wore stupid ornamental armor. It was gilt by association. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #politics #funny

History is an endless repetition of the element of surprise. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#history #humor #funny

Portrait: a painted picture expressing less words than a photograph, and hence more accurate. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #language #pictures #funny

Connie, have you been trying to call me?" No Archie. "Well, my phone has not been ringing all day, and I thought it might have been you. ↗

— Lawrence Sanders

#humor