#humor

Education will only take you so far. To go even further, I’d recommend getting a piggyback ride from a midget half your body weight.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #education

Your mission statement says Galer Street is based on global "connectitude." (You people don't just think outside the box, you think outside the dictionary!) ↗

— Maria Semple

#elementary-school #humor #mission-statements #school #education

Teacher: a master who, through personal example, inspires students to rebel against learning. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #education

You show up at these meetings to stay sober and you walk out with a fucking education. ↗

— Lawrence Block

#education

I'm the designated sane person. ↗

— Bonnie Rice

#humor #sane #design

The Encyclopedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun to Be With. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing devision of the Sirius Cybernetic Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes, ↗

— Douglas Adams

#design

think of it.' said Robert Rosenbluth, a doctor whose acquaintance i made at the start of this book. 'no engineer could design something as multifunctional and fine tuned as an anus. to call someone an asshole is really bragging him up. ↗

— Mary Roach

#science #design

That's the scary thing about hope," she said. "If you let it go too long it turns into faith. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#inspirational #faith

He said, I won't have one of those things in the house. It gives a young girl a false notion of beauty, not to mention anatomy. If a real woman was built like that she'd fall on her face. She said, If we don't let her have one like all the other girls she'll feel singled out. It'll become an issue. She'll long for one and she'll long to turn into one. Repression breeds sublimation. You know that. He said, It's not just the pointy plastic tits, it's the wardrobes. The wardrobes and that stupid male doll, what's his name, the one with the underwear glued on. She said, Better to get it over with when she's young. He said, All right but don't let me see it. She came whizzing down the stairs, thrown like a dart. She was stark naked. Her hair had been chopped off, her head was turned back to front, she was missing some toes and she'd been tattooed all over her body with purple ink, in a scrollwork design. She hit the potted azalea, trembled there for a moment like a botched angel, and fell. He said, I guess we're safe. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#beauty #feminine #femininity #gender #gender-roles

Jodi in tactical gear was something to behold. Pert, a lot shorter than I am, blond hair tucked under a helmet, cinched into body armor never intended to mold to the body of a curvy woman. Ugly but efficient attire. Someone needs to talk to armor designers about female body shapes and style. ↗

— Faith Hunter

#humor #design