#humor

Candy is natures way of making up for Mondays." ~Unknown Author ↗

— Rebecca Gober

#humor #monday #humor

It was too bad, but sometimes a little knowledge could ruin your whole day, or at least take off some of the shine. ↗

— Jacqueline Kelly

#humor

Sticks and stones and small caliber bullets may break my bones... Words will never, et cetera. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #humor

Sticks and stones may break your bones but words can break hearts. ↗

— Tim Minchin

#humor #hurt #love #humor

... And drinking neat liquor from the bottle, with all my long hair and my shirt undone and my beads, not so much the lizard king, more a gecko duchess, I fitted in nicely with their idea of what a creative person should be. ↗

— Russell Brand

#humor

Okay, guys. Stop it. Are you going to start peeing on me to mark your territory? ↗

— Maegan Lynn Moores

#humour #jealousy #men #humor

Batman doesn't have any superpowers. He's not superhuman. He's not super. So therefore he can't be a superhero. ↗

— Craig Silvey

#superheroes #humor

Because nothing says flattery like a gun to the head. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#dresdenish #humor #humor

It's just a flesh wound! ↗

— Graham Chapman

#humor

Don't let the cat out or the concierge in: this is the first principle of socialist ladies. ↗

— Muriel Barbery

#humor