#humor

I could not tread these perilous paths in safety, if I did not keep a saving sense of humor. ↗

— Horatio Nelson

#did #humor #i #keep #paths

I don't know how many sacred cows there are today. I think there's a little confusion between humor and gross passing for humor. That's kind of regrettable. ↗

— Bob Newhart

#confusion #cows #gross #how #humor

Was Charles I too stubborn to listen to reason? Could Civil War have been averted if the king had been more willing to negotiate? His great enemy Cromwell always maintained that the king had been swayed at the last moment by his queen, the beautiful Henrietta Maria. We can believe Cromwell's claim that the queen told her husband to be firm. But the wicked, spiteful, altogether irresistable quote often attributed to her by Puritan writers of the time is almost certainly false. "Oh my love, if you cannot remain firm in the bedchamber, at least try to remain firm with your subjects! ↗

— Antonia Fraser

#impotence #beauty

We have a certain warped sense of humor in Scandinavia, and that is what comes across in the choices in a lot of our movies. ↗

— Connie Nielsen

#certain #choices #comes #humor #lot

Finally, Charlie gave up the hunt and placed (the puppy) back on the floor, dispatching fleas was not his idea of a romantic evening, unless you happened to be a twisted exterminator, he thought. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#fleas #funny #humor #humour #pass-the-fleas-please

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years. ↗

— Robert Orben

#humor #like #starts #then #wildfire

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff. ↗

— Robert Orben

#around #call #gentle #go #humor

-Oh yes? Can you identify yourself? -Certainly. I'd know me anywhere. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny-and-random #humor #humorous #satire #wit

You take I-55 south, and you'll run into I-20. Or you could take..." I was about to be overloaded with information. "Oh that sounds just perfect. Let me do just that, or I'll lose track." Sure, glad I could help." Oh, you surely did." We beamed at each other, just two nice women. I had to fight an impulse to say "I have a tortured vampire in trunk," out of sheer giddiness. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#humor #funny

Sore loser? You bet your fuckin' ass! What on earth is wrong with being a sore loser? It shows you cared about whatever the contest was in the first place. Fuck losing graciously-that's for chumps. And losers, by the way. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #sore-loser #funny