#humor

I was having the surreal experience of having myself show myself around my office and bullpen.” “Oh! My desk. I could’ve sat at my desk. I could’ve sat at your desk.” “No.” “It’s a vid set.” “Even then, no. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#death

The bad news is the butcher’s dead. The good news is there’ll be no need for a funeral, and I’ve got enough meat to last for weeks. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cannibalism #death #food #funeral #humor

Your wit is always such a delight, Mr. Zeklos. I can barely contain myself around it. ↗

— Richelle Mead

#sarcasm #humor

What does it mean a 'greener life'? Well, let's be brutal. It doesn't meaning meditating in a centrally heated room on a macrame mat in front of an Amerindian dreamcatcher and a homemade candle surrounded by ugly spider plants, then rushing off in a gas-guzzling 4-wheel drive to collect the children from school and feeding them on pre-prepared supermarket meals heated in the microwave. If you have a faith, living a greener life demands a certain amount of self-sacrifice. You don't save the planet with notions and lip service. Like every adventure it requires a degree of suffering and getting your hands dirty. ↗

— Clarissa Dickson Wright

#humor #truth #faith

Negative humor is forgotten immediately. It's the stuff that makes us feel better about our lives that lives long. Much more satisfying. Enter children's books. ↗

— Berkeley Breathed

#better #books #children #enter #feel

Humor has bailed me out of more tight situations than I can think of. If you go with your instincts and keep your humor, creativity follows. With luck, success comes, too. ↗

— Jimmy Buffett

#comes #creativity #follows #go #humor

Duende I can't remember her name. It's not as though I've been in bed with that many women. The truth is I can't even remember her face. I kind of know how strong her thighs were, and her beauty. But what I won't forget is the way she tore open the barbecued chicken with her hands, and wiped the grease on her breasts. ↗

— Jack Gilbert

#mystical #sex #beauty

Any film which views the darker side of life, which is death with a sense of humor, is very much to my taste. ↗

— Carter Burwell

#darker #death #film #humor #life

No quality imparts apparent strength to its possessors more effectively than faith. From hospital beds to battlefields, it is the iron that strengthens a man to confront his destiny. ↗

— Mike Corbett

#demons #heaven #hell #intelligent-humor #irreverent-humor

I think Saturday may be Latin for "stay in pajamas til noon then eventually motivate yourself to shower and get ready for bed that night. ↗

— Bart Millard

#humor