#humorous

Embrace your inner lunatic. Fun times guaranteed. ↗

— Derek Landy

#humor #humorous #insanity #lunatics #death

If I could out run the Angel of Death I'd probably die from lack of breath! ↗

— Stanley Victor Paskavich

#death

Just to keep the bad dreams at bay, she took a swig out of a bottle that smelled of apples and happy brain-death. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humorous-quotations #ironic #irony #death

When you argue with someone, you always argue at the level of the person with the lowest level of intelligence. You never argue up. ↗

— Spuds Crawford

#humorous #intelligence

I turned on the television and watched a movie about a girl who’d fallen in love with both a vampire and a werewolf. I’d already seen it a million times, so my eyelids grew heavy, fairly quickly. Ten minutes later I was out cold in my bed and dreaming of Duncan, who turned into a werewolf and was trying to kill my own vampire boyfriend. Every time I tried to see the vampire’s face, however, it was a blur. ↗

— Kristen Middleton

#humorous #movie-inspirational #dreams

Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.'.... 'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#humorous #humor

Fuckstockings! ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor

He was rather a low sort of pony. The fact is, he had been originally jobbed out by the day, and he never quite got over his old habits. He was clever in melodrama too, but too broad--too broad. When the mother died, he took the port-wine business.' 'The port-wine business!' cried Nicholas. 'Drinking port-wine with the clown,' said the manager; 'but he was greedy, and one night bit off the bowl of the glass, and choked himself, so his vulgarity was the death of him at last. ↗

— Charles Dickens

#business

Behind every great man stands a surprised woman. ↗

— Anon. -

#humor

Don't Spit in the Soup, We All Gotta Eat ↗

— Lyndon B. Johnson

#thought-provoking