#humour

There are undoubtedly advantages to being dead, said Julius. ↗

Eins var algengt hjá okkur ef spurt var um líðan einhvers manns: iss hann er feitur; en það þýddi að honum liði vel, eða einsog sagt mundi vera í Danmörku, að hann væri hamingjusamur. Ef einhverjum leið illa, þá var sagt sem svo: æ það hálfsér á honum; og væri sá nær dauða en lífi sem um var rætt, þá var sagt: æ það er í er í honum einhver lurða. Ef einhver var um það bil að verða ellidauður, þá var sagt: æjá hann er hættur að bleyta smjörið. Um þann sem lá banaleguna var sagt: já hann er nú að berja nestið auminginn. Um dauðvona ungling var sagt að það liti ekki út fyrir að hann ætti að kemba hærurnar. ↗

— Halldór Laxness

#death #humour #laxness #death

It made Craze smile, despite wishing most of his body parts would find new homes and leave him in peace. ↗

— M. Pax

#sci-fi #home

That´s the problem with planning a late night supper after the opera, not only does the hero or the heroine die singing, but you end up famished after the last notes of the finale. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#funny #humor #humorous #humour #life

We offered her flowers and signalled to her with our penises, but she did not respond with joy.' 'The men with the extra skins didn't look happy. They looked angry.' 'We went towards them to greet them, but they ran away.' Snowman can imagine. The sight of these preternaturally calm, well-muscled men advancing en masse, singing their unusual music, green eyes glowing, blue penises waving in unison, both hands outstretched like extras in a zombie film, would have to have been alarming. ↗

— Margaret Atwood

#humour #mating #imagination

Marry me. You'll learn to love me, I promise. ↗

— Robyn Carr

#robyn-carr #romance #romantic #love

I imagine hell like this: Italian punctuality, German humour and English wine. ↗

— Peter Ustinov

#hell #humor #humour #stereotypes #humor

When it comes to emotions, women know how to paint with the full set of oils, while men are busy doodling with crayons. ↗

— Hank Moody

#humour #true #business

It was the list of activities thing. Like the menu with price, only I'm not the restaurant; I'm the meal. ↗