#humour

I'm on a whisky diet. I've lost three days already. ↗

— Tommy Cooper

#diet

He was a philosopher, if you know what that was.’ ‘A man who dreams of fewer things than there are in heaven and earth,’ said the Savage promptly. ‘Quite so… ↗

— Aldous Huxley

#philosophy #shakespeare #dreams

Weirdism is definitely the cornerstone of many an artist's career. ↗

— E.A. Bucchianeri

#artist #artists #artists-life #arts-and-humanities #artsy

There is a certain amount which I shan't mention publicly," Elizabeth said. "Things about Lucia which I should never dream of stating openly." "Those are just the ones I should like to hear about most," said Diva. "Just a few little titbits. ↗

— E.F. Benson

#humour #dreams

Take it!" he snarled, hurling the diamond necklace across the table at his opponent. "And may you rot in hell with it!" "I should not dream of intruding upon you there," replied Mr Brundy, bowing deeply from the waist. ↗

— Sheri Cobb South

#humour #dreams

...I doubt very seriously whether anyone will hire me.' What do you mean, babe? You a fine boy with a good education.' Employers sense in me a denial of their values.' He rolled over onto his back. 'They fear me. I suspect that they can see that I am forced to function in a century I loathe. This was true even when I worked for the New Orleans Public Library. ↗

— John Kennedy Toole

#humor #humour #work #education

One of the disadvantages of almost universal education was the fact that all kinds of persons acquired a familiarity with one's favorite writers. It gave one a curious feeling; it was like seeing a drunken stranger wrapped in one's dressing gown. ↗

— Stella Gibbons

#humour #education

They were small, brightly coloured, happy little creatures who secreted some of the nastiest toxins in the world, which is why the job of looking after the large vivarium where they happily passed their days was given to first-year students, on the basis that if they got things wrong there wouldn't be too much education wasted. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#education

There was a family joke that Lucy's first words were, "Nicholas is bugging me! ↗

— Alyxandra Harvey

#lucy #solange #family

I believe that there is an equality to all humanity. We all suck. ↗

— Bill Hicks

#humour #misanthropy #perspective #equality