#humour

I think choosing between men and women is like choosing between cake and ice cream. You'd be daft not to try both when there are so many different flavors. ↗

— Björk

#gay #humour #lesbian #life #sexuality

We're famous" iggy whispered so low that Fang could barely hear him. "So's Swine Flu" Fang whispered back. ↗

— James Patterson

#humourous #illness #run-for-there-life #life

In his essay,Agastya had said that his real ambition was to be a domesticated male stray dog because they lived the best life.They were assured of food,and because they were stray they didn't have to guard a house or beg or shake paws or fetch trifles or be clean or anything similarly meaningless to earn their food.They were servile and sycophantic when hungry;once fed,and before sleep,they wagged their tails perfunctorily whenever their hosts passes,as an investment for future meals.A stray dog was free,he slept a lot,barked unexpectedly and only when he wanted to,and got a lot of sex. ↗

— Upamanyu Chatterjee

#humour #food

Then watch out. I warn you!" "That is very considerate of you," said Chrestomanci. "I like to be warned. ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#life

Do you really think you'd win a PR war against a bunch of committed librarians?' He thought about this, but he knew I was right. The libraries were a treasured institution and so central to everyday life that government and commerce rarely did anything that might upset them.Some say they were more powerful than the military, or, if not, they were certainly quieter. As they say: Don't mess with librarians. Only they use a stronger word than 'mess'... ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#librarians #life

Because we live in a world under siege,” I say. “Life sucks for mages and magicians- you taught me that. Bad things happen to those of us who get involved, but if we didn't fight, we'd be in an even worse state. None of it it’s your fault, any more than it’s the fault of the moon or the stars.” Dervish nods slowly, then arches an eyebrow “The moon or the stars?” “I always get poetic when I'm dealing with self-pitying simpletons. ↗

— Darren Shan

#humor #humour #humor

Life is like yoga; the only way you can enjoy it is by relaxing into any position you happen to find yourself in. ↗

— Jon Wakeham

#philosophy #life

He’s my cat! He’s not God’s cat! Let God have his own cat! Let God have all the damn old cats He wants, and kill them all! Church is mine! ↗

— Stephen King

#life #life

When you're conscious of what you're permitting to germinate inside you, the weeds in your life will wither away of their own accord. ↗

— Lawrence Shorter

#non-fiction #life

I swiftly discovered that there are few things in DIY (and possibly life) that can't be solved with a large mallet, a bag of ten-centimetre nails and some swearing. ↗

— Monty Halls

#humour #life