#humour

This is a team of gay dudes, isn't it?" What gave it away? The pink shirts, or half our team drooling over you? ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#humour #lgbt #perfect

Please, amigo. We need you, Kimosabe, O Mighty Powerful One. We need you more than the earth rises in the west." The sun rises in the east, dickhead." Only if you're standing on the earth. If you're on the moon, the earth rises in the west. ↗

— Simone Elkeles

#perfect

(Kaylee) Tell me I'm pretty, Wash. (Wash) Were I unwed I would take you in a manly fashion. (kaylee) Because I'm pretty? (Wash) Because you're pretty. ↗

— Brett Matthews

#firefly #humour #fashion

[on the success of Fifty Shades of Grey] "Just think how many books I could've sold if Harry had been a bit more creative with his wand. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humour #interview #j-k-rowling #creativity

http://travelsofadam.com/2012/11/trav... Here are some quotes from my book and there are plenty more... ↗

— D.C. Gallin

#humour #inspirational #social-commentary #art

It's August, which means Congress is on recess and Mitch McConnell has shimmied back into the ocean to seek a mate. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#mitch-mcconnell #politics #twitter #united-states #united-states-congress

...don't tell me I should only talk to people with a high influence score, or I'll Klout you... ↗

— John Geddes

#influence-score #klout #twitter-quotes #twitter

I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely. ↗

— Stephen Colbert

#humour #twitter #twitter

Angela spared a glare for Kami, and then resumed her marathon glaring session at Jared. 'It's too weird. I'm going to call you Carl.' Jared scowled. 'I don't want you to call me Carl.' 'That's interesting, Carl,' said Angela, cheering up. ↗

— Sarah Rees Brennan

#weird

And then, as if written by the hand of a bad novelist, an incredible thing happened. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#luck #luck