#joke

It's like that Simpsons joke - they're filming a cow in a movie and they go, 'OK, we'll tape a bunch of cats together to make a cow', and it's like, 'Why don't you just use a cow?'. For some reason that is novel - like, 'Oh, my guitar sounds like a piano and now if I can just get my piano to sound like my guitar'. ↗

— Ian Williams

#cats #cow #filming #get #go

A serious and good philosophical work could be written consisting entirely of jokes. ↗

— Ludwig Wittgenstein

#could #entirely #good #jokes #philosophical

I recently did the David Letterman Show about my book. He was very serious and made no jokes and it caught me off guard a little bit. He was much more serious than some of the joke shows that journalists get on. ↗

— Bob Woodward

#bit #book #caught #david #david letterman

If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke? ↗

— Steven Wright

#joke #laughs #nobody #tell #you

I remember when I was in college, I used to watch Julia Child's cooking show during dinner and joke with my roommates about becoming a TV chef. ↗

— Martin Yan

#becoming #chef #child #college #cooking

Everyone for the most part is really nice. There have always been jokes, but that's part of being in the spotlight. You can't make everyone completely happy. ↗

— Tina Yothers

#been #being #completely #everyone #happy

You learn to kid around and joke and not take things too seriously because somehow its all gonna work out for the best - or you're gonna make it work out. ↗

— Jack Youngblood

#because #best #gonna #joke #kid

I always make this joke that I know you were expecting to see the big skirts and the hoops. But that was a long time ago. Artists aren't always seen as real people. If you start out as a teenager, sometimes people want to keep you locked as that. But I'm a woman now. ↗

— Jody Watley

#always #artists #big #expecting #hoops

Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive no harm, unless thou art raw. ↗

— Oliver Goldsmith

#art #harm #joke #raw #receive

I can tell jokes. I can talk to the audience. I can relax. I can change my songs whenever I want. I can change the tempos. I can change the mood, because I'm in charge. ↗

— Robert Goulet

#because #change #charge #i #i can