#mon

In a world gushing blood day and night, you never stop mopping up pain. ↗

— Aberjhani

#despair #grief #national-poetry-month #pain #peace-movement

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye. ↗

— Cathy Guisewite

#funny #lemons #funny

A Penny Saved is a Penny Earned ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#inspirational #money #funny

Is this Clarissa Fray?" The voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable. Clary twirled the phone cord nervously around her finger. "Yeees?" "Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I"m afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-" "SIMON!" Clary held the phone away from her ear as he cracked up laughing. "That is so not funny!" "Sure it is. You just don't see the humor." "Jerk." Clary sighed, leaning up against the wall. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #joke #phone #simon-lewis #tease

I think the key indicator for wealth is not good grades, work ethic, or IQ. I believe it's relationships. Ask yourself two questions: How many people do I know, and how much ransom money could I get for each one? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #grades #humor #iq #kidnap

I don't want to be a man," said Jace. "I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead." "Well," said Luke, "you're doing a fantastic job. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#demons #growing-up #humor #jace-wayland #luke

NAUGHTY AND NICE? said Death. BUT IT'S EASY TO BE NICE IF YOU'RE RICH. IS THIS FAIR? Albert wanted to argue. He wanted to say, Really? In that case, how come so many of the rich buggers is bastards? And being poor don't mean being naughty, neither. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#economics #money #morality #society #death

Do you remember back at the hotel when you promised that if we lived, you’d get dressed up in a nurse’s outfit and give me a sponge bath?" asked Jace. "It was Simon who promised you the sponge bath." "As soon as I’m back on my feet, handsome," said Simon. "I knew we should have left you a rat. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #humor #jace-wayland #simon-lewis #humor

Well, I’m not kissing the mundane," said Jace. "I’d rather stay down here and rot." "Forever?" said Simon. "Forever’s an awfully long time." Jace raised his eyebrows. "I knew it," he said. "You want to kiss me, don’t you? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #simon-lewis #humor

Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let them have their way, then trick them when they're not paying attention. ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#humor #smart #humor