#random

Awesome ends with me; but Ugly starts with u... ↗

A brick could be put on the end of a scale, to determine if the other end of the scale holds a lie or the truth. (Hint: The truth is much heavier than a brick.)  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

If my hair was on fire and llamas came to put it out, he'd tell me the shot was great. ↗

— Erin Dionne

#funny

He'd have to turn on his high-voltage charm with these people. Should work. They were only used to 12V battery power after all-he'd dazzle them. ↗

— Josephine Myles

#funny

There may be a sucker born every minute, but every 30 seconds a lollipop pops out.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

I’ve compiled a list of five suspects, and all five could be mistakenly narrowed down to one by a lesser investigator, because all five are nearly identical in physical demeanor and dimensions. They could all be monozygotic twins, or clones, or holographic projections of each other. They all are egg-shaped like humpty Dumpty, only more omelet-like in the face, as each has two beady black olive eyes, thin strips of bacon for lips, and a rosy grape tomato for a nose. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#random #funny

He had bright elfin eyes and a knowledgeable ass. ↗

— Chris Hannan

#funny

A blanket could be twirled in the air, like a new idea in your mind, and then either discarded or folded up like a wearable memory.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

She asked if I found what she was telling me very exciting, and I managed to yelp out “very” while yawning.  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #random #random-thought

I always wear gloves, so at any moment I could commit a crime and not be worried about fingerprints. Plus, it saves on buying hand sanitizer.  ↗