#sleeping

I had a dream about you. We installed Dr. Robert Jarvik’s artificial heart in a mannequin and brought it to life, only to later kill it because a creature that’s all fake heart and no brain is what’s commonly called a “politician,” and must be destroyed.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were naked, and you had the body of a mannequin, with the face of a politician. And as I gazed at you, I couldn’t tell which of the two was more phony—the real fake of your body, or the fake real of your face.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You glued a fake beard on a mannequin and had it running a monetary printing press nonstop, and you planned on creating dollar bills forever, or until you devalued it to the point where savings were destroyed, lives devastated, and you continued laughing all the way to the bank, which you owned.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you last night.. You pretended not to be a three hole punch. ↗

— Amy Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We couldn't decide on a sunrise. You wanted a tan, I only cared about the view. Then World War III fulfilled both our desires. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

How come you’re in such a good mood? You couldn't have gotten much more sleep than I did last night. Are you a morning person?” I ask in mock horror.“A mornin’ person, well maybe, but let’s just say I got to experience the nicest parts of hell last night,” he says quietly,taking the shirt I offer him. As he rises out of thebed, I can’t help looking over his perfect abdomen and chest before he shrugs into his shirt.“I’m sorry, the nicest parts of hell? What does that mean?” I ask.“Red, yer not a guy, so there’s no point explainin’, ↗

— Amy A. Bartol

#guys #secret-dude-meaning #sleeping-together #experience

...When a man first awakens, it sometimes takes several moments before he starts thinking clearly." "And here I thought it took several years, perhaps a lifetime for the average man's intellect to kick in. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#gwen #humor #intellect #karen-marie-moning #kiss-of-the-highlander

My mother gets all mad at me if I stay in a hotel. I'm 31-years-old, and I don't want to sleep on a sleeping bag down in the basement. It's humiliating. ↗

— Ben Affleck

#bag #basement #down #gets #hotel

I will continue to distribute blankets, sleeping bags, warm clothing and food on a regular basis, in the hope that my modest efforts will give some comfort to those people we are able help. ↗

— Mohamed Al-Fayed

#bags #basis #blankets #clothing #comfort

You know how most dogs lick you on the cheek? If you're sleeping and not ready for it, my dog, Joe, will get his tongue inside your mouth. It's by far the worst kiss I've ever had. ↗

— Will Estes

#dog #dogs #ever #far #get