#sleeping

You know how most dogs lick you on the cheek? If you're sleeping and not ready for it, my dog, Joe, will get his tongue inside your mouth. It's by far the worst kiss I've ever had. ↗

— Will Estes

#dog #dogs #ever #far #get

I didn't dream about you last night. I woke up in fear. ↗

— Michael Summers

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

Old myths, old gods, old heroes have never died. They are only sleeping at the bottom of our mind, waiting for our call. We have need for them. They represent the wisdom of our race. ↗

— Stanley Kunitz

#call #died #gods #heroes #mind

I had a dream about you last night... Well I say dream I mean nightmare... you were a Yankee fan. ↗

— Nicole McKay

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. At first you were a mannequin, and I was a fashion designer. Then, inexplicably, we switched roles and I became the mannequin. But instead of putting clothes on me, you laughed at my nakedness, and you sold me to the owner of a sex shop. 
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You told me you loved me, and then you stabbed me with a spoon. Luckily, moments before your attack, I assumed the identity of a bowl of Jell-O. Later on in the dream, as a half-eaten bowl of Jell-O, I launched a successful political campaign, got elected, and moved to Washington DC.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You were being hung. I had a sword in one hand and a stool in the other. I couldn’t decide which one to use, so I stood on the stool and threw myself on the sword. It was the least I could do to protest capital punishment. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. You don’t need to thank me for taking you into consideration. But I do expect you to return the favor. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. We were at a buffet, but instead of eating food, we were forced to eat our words. You were eating words like “Winner,” “Victory,” and Triumphant,” while I was eating words like “Macaroni,” “Pizza,” and “Meatloaf.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships

I had a dream about you. I left for the country club, you the mountain top, knowing that at our reunion one would fall. When golf clubs fence with skis, both summer and winter are painted red. In the contact sports of the wealthy, the seasons are no longer impersonal forces. ↗

— Bauvard

#dreams #funny #humor #life #relationships