#witty

You get a promotion?" "I got a polite, but firm suggestion to be a team player. [...]" "You got off easy. One of my commanding officers once threw a paperweight at me." "We're a bit more subtle. ↗

— Nelson DeMille

#witty #funny

This is the fast lane, folks...and some of us like it here. ↗

— Hunter S. Thompson

#witty #humor

Graham's life is as tense as an overstretched simile. ↗

— Zane Stumpo

#funny #humor #humour #wit #witty

The phone beeped - M fine but these two guys R on me like cougars on Adam Lambert. ↗

— Elisabeth Staab

#funny #king-of-darkness #pnr #witty-quotes #funny

Yes. Reyn is our resident horse master. He has an excellent seat." I grinned. "I've noticed." Reyn's face tightened and Nell flushed, looking embarrassed. "It's an equestrian term." "Really? I thought you were talking about his ass. ↗

— Cate Tiernan

#sarcasm #teasing #witty #humor

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport was very warm and hospitable. And I want to thank the Canadian people who came out to wave -- with all five fingers -- for their hospitality. ↗

— George W. Bush

#witty #humor

You know, you're rather amusingly wrong. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#funny #humor #humorous #irony #satire

What the hell makes you smart?" I asked. "I wouldn't go for coffee with you." "Listen - I wouldn't ask you." "That," she replied, "is what makes you stupid. ↗

— Erich Segal

#coffee #witty #love

Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much. ↗

— Criss Jami

#challenge #clever #cognition #cognitive #cognitive-psychology

Don't worry about it; only worry about how people like her breed. ↗

— Gasmaskman

#humor #sarcasm #witty #humor