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There is this woman in our office that I just cannot stand. She is always complaining and she is really overweight. She is always complaining about the shitty office equipment and if she has nothing to say about that, she is complaining about her weight and crying loudly that she needs to lose weight. I have a sweet tooth and have always some chocolate or other sweets with me and I know started asking her if she'd like some. Of course, I am all smiles and friendly, because I only want to share my good stuff, ya know?
She always declines, but I see how she's struggling and that fills me with so much joy.
Please forgive me for my disgraceful attitude.
I am filled with anger. Anger that is slowly bleeding away to hate.
Everyone is so fucking busy blaming and blamming each other into the dirt. Nobody either seems to or wants to understand, that regardless of your age, sex, gender identity, whatever label you proudly slap onto your chest, that we're all people just trying to get to the next fucking day.
You ever catch yourself wishing for super powers or magic? Doesn't matter how old you are, everybody does it from time to time.
Every time I come back to the same thing: Someone the entire world can rally together against. Of course it would never work and it's a fucking pipe dream, but it only fuels my fucking hate for the people around me.
I don't have high expectations. In fact they're rather simple. Survive, help others survive, get to that next sunrise, then figure it all out again, with the only ever present constant being that we, Humanity, are stuck on this goddamn dirtball TOGETHER.
But the only ones interested in saying anything like that only care about the audience they'll bring. The "clicks and the views" WOOOOO.
Fuck them.
And fuck you if you're one of them.
This will likely be buried in the sands of time. Sure maybe one or two, shit I might even get lucky and twenty whole people will see it.
But will it change anything? Will it get anyone to think? No. Because I'm either:
Alt-right because I don't agree with someone.
Alt-left because I don't agree with someone.
A Nazi, because I don't agree with someone.
Whatever fucking low budget brain label these fucksticks want to stick because I don't agree that there is one bad side and one good side.
And if you are one of those people, I just have a small, tiny, itty bitty criticism for you:
You're ALL FUCKING TERRIBLE.
YOU'RE A FUCKING STUPID.
YOU'RE NOTHING BUT FUCKING POTS AND PANS CALLING EACH OTHER BLACK.
YOU'RE BEING LITERALLY MURDERED IN THE STREETS BUT RATHER THAN CASTIGATE THE ONES RESPONSIBLE, YOU WANNA FUCKING GIVE IT LABELS AND MEAN SOMETHING MORE THAN IT FUCKING DOESN'T AND IT DRIVES ME TO FUCKING HATE EACH AND EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF YOU THAT PARTICIPATES IN THIS STUPIDITY AND YOU'RE ALL FUCKING ADDICTED TO DOPAMINE.
ADDICTED TO THAT LITTLE FUCKING PAT ON THE BACK. FUCK YOU
I'm going to die soon. The stress of being in this fucking world actively agitates bodily damage I've sustained and sicknesses I've suffered throughout life. I'm going to die, filled with hate for Humanity, all because these stupid fucks can't figure their shit out and that inability is going to be the fucking cause.
It's not everyone. There are those out there. The outliers. You know who you are.
And before anyone freaks the fuck out, I'm not acting out above kicking a shrubbery or two in my own yard.
These people, however much they fucking enrage me and fill me with hate and EMBARRASSMENT for being related to you on a genological level, are above wasting my time on aside making a random post on the internet nobody will fucking care about.
I don't think I deserve forgiveness.
I just want people to know.
However few.
I ate all the chocolate bars we had at home because they are my favourite and I don't want my family to get them.
I was a little girl about 7 and my drunk dad came in the room i was sleeping in and made my F*** a D** while making my sister watch. i can't move passed it cause everyone in my school heard rumors and think i'm so disgusting they don't even talk to me or treat me like a person anymore. I live in an apartment; very seldom do i leave and when i do i have to go 80 miles at least where people don't know me. I feel very unclean and undeserving of love since i lost my virginity to a D**, I feel beyond damaged
Today, I stole a chocolate bar because I don't understand why ONE SINGLE chocolate bar can cost so much money (It was one of the more expensive ones). At home I realized that I took the wrong chocolate, I got full cream milk but I wanted one with nuts in it. Poor me.
I have become a hoarder. I go on eBay late at night when everyone is asleep and I buy luxury clothing and shoes that are not even my size. I started working from home so I can accept the packages without my husband knowing. I have boxes on top of boxes and I tell him that they are inventory that I am selling online but I'm not. I haven't sold anything online in over a year or two. I am so sick over my deception and addiction that I just lay in bed all day and make plans on how I am going to rectify the situation. But all I do is wind up unpacking one box and repackaging the items in another. I don't know why I am doing this. I never cared about things like that before but now it's like if I see a Tory Burch bag for $5 with free shipping and I dont buy it I feel like I'm about to take a huge test that I am completely unprepared for, or like I'm about to jump out of a plane. The only thing that stops the anxiety is buying the item. I am out of money and I can't remember the last time I did dishes or made dinner. I just lock myself in my room and obsess over this all day and all night.
I am married and stay with my husband 6 years, he was always abuse and took advantage of my foreign situation, I was loyal to him for 6 long years full of betray, humiliation, mental and verbal abuse, one day he cut me off from out of nothing, and we moved out to other place and let me like wtf? I got depressed I struggle for money and all that, what ever the point is that I meet someone, we started dating, and we fuck, and then my husband appear after months telling me to fix our marriage, what should I do?
I just watched a movie about a guy with schizophrenia and I guess I can kind of relate to how he's feeling. I don't know if I am hypochondriac about it or what but I guess I have my own kind of schizophrenia....
As a kid I thought that chocolate is the poo of cows. Until I was 13 years old I never wanted to eat chocolate because I thought it is disgusting and I yelled at other people for eating cow poo.
#cow #poo #chocolate #embarrassing
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