April Winchell

I remember lying down for a nap one day at about 4:00 and walking up at 11:00 the next morning. ↗

— April Winchell

#day #down #i #i remember #lying

I'd like to run for office someday, but I'm afraid my ability to spell might give me an unfair advantage. ↗

— April Winchell

#advantage #afraid #give #give me #i

Let's stop playing with ourselves and get on with the entertainment, shall we? ↗

— April Winchell

#get #ourselves #playing #shall #stop

My bedspread isn't washable. Since my bedding has to be washed every day, I'll have to throw it out. ↗

— April Winchell

#day #every #every day #i #out

Orphans, dead parents, lonely children at Christmas, morose spoken word recordings, everything you love about the holidays. Move the turkey over so you can fit your head in the oven. ↗

— April Winchell

#children #christmas #dead #everything #fit

Personally, I think tying garbage bags around your head and hands is overkill. ↗

— April Winchell

#bags #garbage #hands #head #i

The theme of the party was Neverland Ranch, so guests were asked to come as anyone or anything associated with Michael Jackson. It was all very disturbing. ↗

— April Winchell

#anything #asked #associated #come #disturbing