Dave Barry

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.' ↗

— Dave Barry

#achieved #full #had #human #human race

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. ↗

— Dave Barry

#again #choice #come #deeply #each

Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions. ↗

— Dave Barry

#answer #bill #bill gates #gates #know

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. ↗

— Dave Barry

#call #communication #development #history #human

Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. ↗

— Dave Barry

#assume #guy #never #understands #you

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. ↗

— Dave Barry

#anything #dies #stomp #you

Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid. ↗

— Dave Barry

#biological #breasts #function #make #males

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature. ↗

— Dave Barry

#immature #once #only #you #young

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter. ↗

— Dave Barry

#follow #generally #here #me #place

Magnetism, as you recall from physics class, is a powerful force that causes certain items to be attracted to refrigerators. ↗

— Dave Barry

#causes #certain #class #force #items