John Barrymore

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ↗

— John Barrymore

#door #know #left #often #open

When archaeologists discover the missing arms of Venus de Milo, they will find she was wearing boxing gloves. ↗

— John Barrymore

#arms #boxing #discover #find #gloves

You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony. ↗

— John Barrymore

#how #month #never #pay #realize

America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks. ↗

— John Barrymore

#aspirin #buy #country #dollar #lifetime

I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning. ↗

— John Barrymore

#clock #find #give #give me #i

I've read some of your modern free verse and wonder who set it free. ↗

— John Barrymore

#free verse #i #modern #read #set

If it isn't the sheriff, it's the finance company; I've got more attachments on me than a vacuum cleaner. ↗

— John Barrymore

#cleaner #company #finance #got #i

My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere. ↗

— John Barrymore

#girl #go #her #kind #mother

My wife was too beautiful for words, but not for arguments. ↗

— John Barrymore

#too #wife #words

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. ↗

— John Barrymore

#man #old #place #regrets #take