#absurd

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us? ↗

— Jon Stewart

#good-questions #life

Snorkel through our vibrant menagerie of fish and marine life, each one of which has been clearly tagged and labeled for your convenience. Do you think the jokers at Sandals would do that for you? We’ve stocked our ivory reef with disparate creatures from all over the world, creating a lavishly unbalanced ecosystem that you have to see to believe. Often the things that nature never intended are the most fun to look at. ↗

— Colin Nissan

#resorts #life

If love were a dolphin with wings and a unicorn’s horn, being ridden by a blind leprechaun dressed like Rasputin, would you believe in second chances for love at first sight? ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#dolphin #funny #humor #leprechaun #love

Every night I cuddle with a blob of unbaked clay I fashioned in the shape of a woman. But that’s what being in love is all about. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#blob #clay #cuddle #love #night

You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#love #nonsense #ridiculous #trash #love

If my love could be represented by a blur, it would be the beating of a hummingbird’s wings. Did you know that my love is the only love that can fly backwards?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#backwards #bird #birds #blur #flight

THE POLITICIAN If it wasn't for graft, you'd get a very low type of people in politics. Men without ambition. Jellyfish! CATHERINE Especially since you can't rob the people anyway. THE POLITICIAN Sure...How was that? CATHERINE What you rob, you spend. And what you spend goes back to the people. So where's the robbery? I read that in one of my father's books. THE POLITICIAN That book should be in every home! ↗

— Preston Sturges

#writing #men

He was a man I came to respect. Not because he wore Ziploc bags for socks (he had sweaty feet), but because he also kept his sandwiches warming there while he walked. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#respect #respect

The phrase ‘popular science’ has in itself a touch of absurdity. That knowledge which is popular is not scientific. ↗

— Maria Mitchell

#knowledge #science #science

Prediction is very difficult, especially about the future. ↗

— Niels Bohr

#humour #truth #wisdom #wisdom