#absurd

I am the washing machine of love. And if you have no idea what I mean, maybe it’s time to let some laundry into your life. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #love #surreal #funny

My love is like the shape your mouth makes while you whistle. Would you mind if I accompanied you on my harmonica? 
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— Jarod Kintz

#accompany #bizarre #funny #harmonica #humor

I was nervous. Like an ice cube, I just froze up. Then I melted in some strange guy’s drink.
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— Jarod Kintz

#alcohol #bizarre #drink #freeze #froze

I just took a little nap. I stole it from an infant.
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— Jarod Kintz

#baby #humor #infant #nap #sleep

If America leads a blessed life, then why did God put all of our oil under people who hate us? ↗

— Jon Stewart

#good-questions #life

I smell blood and an era of prominent madmen. ↗

— W.H. Auden

#life #writing #life

The six squares of our love didn’t add up to a cube. Still, I took the oddly-shaped box down to the post office and tried to mail it into the future, when I’d be more prepared to open it.
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— Jarod Kintz

#cube #future #love #mail #prepare

Love gives you wings. Icarus and the Challenger both had wings, and so did my first love letter, after I folded it up and flung it at my crush.
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— Jarod Kintz

#challenger #crush #explosion #flung #icarus

THE POLITICIAN If it wasn't for graft, you'd get a very low type of people in politics. Men without ambition. Jellyfish! CATHERINE Especially since you can't rob the people anyway. THE POLITICIAN Sure...How was that? CATHERINE What you rob, you spend. And what you spend goes back to the people. So where's the robbery? I read that in one of my father's books. THE POLITICIAN That book should be in every home! ↗

— Preston Sturges

#writing #men

He was a man I came to respect. Not because he wore Ziploc bags for socks (he had sweaty feet), but because he also kept his sandwiches warming there while he walked. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#respect #respect