#d

I am an independent woman and I am not to be bossed around by some arrogant blonde! ↗

— Tori Otteson

#just-toriness #stupidity #humor

He looked the boy up and down as if he had never seen a child before and wasn't quite sure what he was supposed to do with one: eat it, ignore it or kick it down the stairs. ↗

— John Boyne

#humor #humor

Just Echo. ↗

— Jun Mochizuki

#echo #humorous #pandora-hearts #humor

The Christian notion of the possibility of redemption is incomprehensible to the computer. ↗

— Vance Packard

#computer #incomprehensible #notion #possibility #redemption

My mother always advised me not to trust a dead person. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #jayde-scott #humor

I leave it to be settled, by whomsoever it may concern, whether the tendency of this work be altogether to recommend parental tyranny, or reward filial disobedience. ↗

— Jane Austen

#inside-jokes #humor

If you had an alien race that looked like insects, then they would build robots to look like themselves, not to look like people. ↗

— Kevin J. Anderson

#build #had #insects #like #look

I don't see why I should bow my head when I could hold it high, or place it in the hands of my enemies when I can defeat them. ↗

— José Rizal

#humor #humor

Today I will masterbate! Okay, that was a mistake. I should have written "Today I will masterbate--if I want to! ↗

— Al Franken

#humor #masturbation #sex #freedom

No...I...I had this spicy Mexican food last night. It's only a bad case of heartburn. I don't need an exorcism. i need some Pepto-Bismo! ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#food