#funny

What was that?” I croaked. Akhol sidestepped into my view and towered over us. “It was a Demon.” “But you said—” “I know what I said,” Akhol cut in sharply, rubbing his eyes. “There was something wrong with it. Like the Demon had adapted to the darkness and water.” I shivered. “Did he have a ring that he called ‘my precious’?” I joked to try and lighten the mood. I didn’t get a good look at the Demon, but my mind had no problems picturing Gollum. They stared at me blankly. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#joke #timeless-series #funny

People worried too much about their children. Suffering when you're young is good for you. It immunized your body and soul... ↗

— Jeannette Walls

#kids-funny #parenting #suffering #funny

Ialways think it's funny when Indians celebrate Thanksgiving. I mean, sure, the Indians and Pilgrims were best friends during the first Thanksgiving, but a few years later, the Pilgrims were shooting Indians. So I'm never quite sure why we eat Turkey like everybody else. (101) ↗

— Sherman Alexie

#indian #irony #pilgram #thanksgiving #funny

Are you sure this is a good idea?’ I ask. ‘No,’ says Amber. ‘Let’s do it. ↗

— Doug MacLeod

#humour #funny

I’m the sexiest of them all! - Carol ↗

— Matthew Leeth

#funny #horror #matthew-leeth #me #she-was-different

You've got the holy trinity of what a girl wants, she said. Cute, smart, funny. I don't think you realize that. ↗

— Alex Bradley

#funny

To attain wisdom, sum up the childlike wonder of foolishness. Then the gullible will become judicious. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #quotes #funny

maybe somebody finally shot the dog. ↗

— Dave Barry

#funny #humor #leonard #funny

She got icing all over her face. I think that's why I like her. For the good stuff, she's willing to get icing all over her face. Who wouldn't want a girl like that? ↗

— Laura Ruby

#funny #love #thoughtful #true #funny

Living on the edge is awesome. Even if below the edge is a lake. ↗

— Liz Aldworth

#living #funny