#funny

We have allowed the system to be so corrupted that many want justice to be "empathetic," not blind. ↗

— Glenn Beck

#political #funny

Cole, for Christ's sake, will you stop staring at me like I'm beefcake of the month? ↗

— Simon Holt

#quinn #simon-holt #soulstice #funny

What's so funny about peace, love and understanding ↗

— Elvis Costello

#funny

Speaking of… does this mean you get your phone back?” I shrug. “I don’t really want that phone back. I’m hoping my whipped boyfriend will get me an iPhone for Christmas. ↗

— Colleen Hoover

#dean-holder #funny #hopeless #iphone #sky-and-dean

I tended to hate people that hit me in the head without warning. ↗

— Amanda Hocking

#funny #hit #wisdom #funny

We don't shoot somebody soon, I'm gonna forget how ↗

— Dave Barry

#funny #humor #leonard #trouble #funny

Madison answered. “I said, ‘The Queen thinks the King’s a pussy for sending her to retrieve me. I dare him to catch me if he can. ↗

— Gracen Miller

#taunting #funny

Do you remember our first kiss? I do. Not a day goes by I don’t think of the feel of that bicuspid against my tongue. It had such a distinctive feel, neither cuspid nor molar…but I’m not sure it knew that – that was what endeared it to me so. It was like the blunted tusk of a wild boar. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#funny #teeth #funny

Ladies pick funny things to be proud of. ↗

— Harper Lee

#jem #funny

Misery, thy name is Mudslide ↗

— Molly Harper

#humour #paranormal-romance #funny