#funny

Sithspit! What's that?' 'That's the sun, Wedge. It's after dawn.' 'Well, it offends me. Turn it off.' 'It's a hundred thirty, hundred forty million klicks from here.' 'Go up in your X-wing and shoot it down for me. ↗

— Aaron Allston

#janson #wedge #funny

I once inscribed the word "Ennui" backwards on my forehead, and I was so bored that I stared at it in the mirror for hours. And at the end of that time, I felt like Sheryl Crow, and I looked like Aleister Crowley. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bored #boredom #ennui #funny #mirror

I gave blood today. It came gushing out of my nose. And anus. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #funny

One day Orafoura and I were walking along and I turned and said, "I wish I could capture the weather in a bottle." Without looking at me he said, "You can capture rain in a bottle. Some people call that water. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#orafoura #weather #funny

Now I know this is going to seem counter to every instinct that you have, but I'm going to ask you to sit still, or I'll put you in the trunk. ↗

— Anna White

#funny #humour #jack #jack-to-samara #samara

Asia is an entertainment, Europe is a dream, America is an imprisonment and Rest is a nightmare. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#asia #countries #europe #funny #joke

This is the final book about Brian ↗

— Gary Paulsen

#funny

Seeing a big scratch on Andy's cheek, he tried again. "You win this fight?" he touched the little boy's cheek lightly. Andy's eyes filled with tears. "I fallded down." "Fell," Jordan corrected automatically. "DADDY!! COME HERE!!" JD commanded furiously. He stomped off to behind the sofa. Jordan rolled his eyes and followed. Leaning down, Jordan whispered, "What?" JD had on his 'frog face'. The one he wore when grownups have been bad. Brows wrinkled, mouth all scrunched and frowny, hands on hips, all 33 inches of righteous indignation, he hissed, "He be's just a baby. He dunna talk good yet." Jordan cocked his eyebrow at his son. "I'm a big boy, Daddy. I know this stuff. ↗

— Grasshopper

#funny

You must read Calvin and Hobbes books!!! Any of them are great, but my favorite is C/H And the (look down) ↗

— Bill Watterson

#funny

He's getting away you idiots! Shoot him. I'm wearing Spider-Man underpants! ↗

— Cuthbert Soup

#funny