#funny

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you an automobile. ↗

— Billy Sunday

#car #funny #humor #religious #funny

You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more? ↗

— Chris Rock

#everyday-life #funny #humor #observational-comedy #funny

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. ↗

— Fred Allen

#california #fine #happen #live #orange

Careful with the accusations of insanity, oh my lady whose home is a tower with windows of brick, all for the sake of some skinny-ankled, laugh-prone boy of a khan. ↗

— Shannon Hale

#funny #funny

I wanted to do an hour-long show, and I wanted to something that was dramatic and sometimes funny and humorous, as well. I'm just delighted to have this opportunity to be a part of this project. ↗

— Ron Glass

#dramatic #funny #humorous #i #just

I wanted to see how funny I could be without making the choice that every 10 minutes something big and visual had to happen. ↗

— Judd Apatow

#choice #could #every #funny #had

I just thought of a great theory that explains everything. When I went to that party, I was abducted by aliens. They have created a fake Earth and fake high school to study me and my reactions. This certainly explains cafeteria food. ↗

— Laurie Halse Anderson

#food

Which half do you want me to cut in half, Mr. Halfofhalf?
 The name’s Onequarter. Johnny Onequarter. And don’t you forget it. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny-dialogue #surreal #funny

I sometimes give myself excellent advice. Occasionally, I even listen to it. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#funny

I lost my virginity in the back seat of a Buick. Not because I’m a romantic, but because my grandpa and grandma were in the front seats.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cars #driving #family #funny #grandma