#funny

It's enough to make me laugh. I close the door behind me and sit down again, considering this, and truly, I find it so funny that I laugh until I cry. And when the tears come I think aah... So this is what it means to be alone. ↗

— John Boyne

#john-boyne #the-house-of-special-purpose #funny

There was still plenty of water in the basement, and I felt it soaking me from the knees on down. If someone wanted to torture me until I told them a critical piece of information, all they would have to do is get my socks wet. It feels terrible. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#interrogation #socks #torture #funny

A blanket is a shield, blocking out the breeze, and an insulator, keeping in body heat.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families. ↗

— Maria Shriver

#beyond #consider #control #families #funny

What if you didn't have time to draw them on one day? Or what if it rained and your eyebrows started dripping off? Hopefully her eye pencil is waterproof. ↗

— Lauren Barnholdt

#funny

Well," Carole said, turning in her seat, "after being fingerprinted and being given a lie detector test, I'll never complain again about going to the gynecologist. ↗

— Stephanie Bond

#funny

Help yourself to a bottle of wine. They’re all empty.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#hospitality #humor #wine #funny

So where does the name Adam's apple come from? Most people say that it is from the notion that this bump was caused by the forbidden fruit getting stuck in the throat of Adam in the Garden of Eden. There is a problem with this theory because some Hebrew scholars believe that the forbidden fruit was the pomegranate. The Koran claims that the forbidden fruit was a banana. So take your pick---Adam's apple, Adam's pomegranate, Adam's banana. Eve clearly chewed before swallowing. ↗

— Mark Leyner

#funny #humorous #irony #relationships #funny

Have you been reading those books that clueless illiterate Duja in charge of the lending library lets you borrow?’ ‘No, Ma.’ ‘Then what put you in mind of devils possessing nuns to take over the church? ↗

— Renita D'Silva

#humour #india #indian-fiction #women-s-fiction #funny

A blanket could be used to fill in the blank.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny