#funny

Talking about someone else's life, doesn't mean you have one of your own ↗

— Dani Barclay

#funny

A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists. ↗

— Don Marquis

#had #listen #many #optimists #person

It's funny, there are so many women who are former executives and have taken all that stress and anxiety and transferred it onto their kids. ↗

— Ana Gasteyer

#executives #former #funny #kids #many

Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting. ↗

— Bill Gates

#day #debt #e-mail #every #every day

It usually takes two people a little while to learn where the funny buttons are and testy buttons are. ↗

— Matt Lauer

#funny #learn #little #people #takes

I like drama. I love being in a drama where I get to be the funny guy. That's what I really love the most. ↗

— John Leguizamo

#drama #funny #funny guy #get #guy

If you're a studio writer, the funny better be on the page. ↗

— Thomas Lennon

#funny #page #studio #writer #you

The only guaranteed way to make something not very funny is to make it vague. ↗

— Thomas Lennon

#guaranteed #make #only #something #vague

Don't forget Mother's Day. Or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad's Third Wife Day. ↗

— Jay Leno

#beverly #beverly hills #call #dad #day

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver. ↗

— Jay Leno

#designated #designated driver #driver #each #reason