#hilarious

Having to talk to people was the one thing, but soliciting conversation was something else. If I acted squirmy or didn't make eye contact, they would want to know what was wrong, and I would have to say, Nothing, since nothing really was wrong. Nothing is an easy thing to feel but a difficult thing to express ↗

— Hilary Thayer Hamann

#evie #hamann #interaction #hilarious

I was like, 'Dude, make me look bad. Please. I want to look ugly. I want to wear orange pants. ↗

— Evanescence

#hilarious

The point is, if we find out you’ve been horrible to Harry —” “— and make no mistake, we’ll hear about it. “even if you won’t let Harry use the fellytone —” “Telephone ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#dursley #hilarious #lupin #tonks #hilarious

There's a time I can recall Four years old and three feet tall Trying to touch the stars and the cookie jar And both were out of reach ↗

— Hilary Weeks

#reaching #hilarious

Delores is a gorgeous name, for a gorgeous girl. Plus, it rhymes with clitoris...and I really know my way around them. Big fan. ↗

— Emma Chase

#pick-up-line #hilarious

The shapes inched closer. I gaped at them, trying to discern their features. "I think I see dead people," I whispered. "Yep," Aidan said, smiling. "More vampire jokes. You're just fine, then. Once this is over, you and my brother will be BFFs." He wrapped his arms around me, pressing me against his broad chest. Against my better judgement, I leaned into him, strangely comforted. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#ancient-legends #hilarious #jayde-scott #hilarious

I think there's something very lovely and hilarious about exploring the particular neuroses of the female mind. It's just not the same thing with men. I mean, there are exceptions, but for the most part, women beat themselves up in their heads more. They overanalyze stuff far more than men do. ↗

— Lizzy Caplan

#beat #exceptions #exploring #far #female

No more tubs for me." I jumped off the bed and pulled on a pair of Pack sweats. "They make me lose all sense." Curran sprawled on the bed with a big self-satisfied smile. "Want to know a secret?" "Sure." "It's not the bathtub, baby." Well, aren't we smug. I picked up the corner of the lowest mattress and made a show of looking under it. "What are you looking for?" "A pea Your Majesty." "What?" "You heard me." I jumped back as he lunged and his fingers missed me by an inch. "Getting slow in your old age." "I thought you liked it slow." A flashback to last night mugged me and my mind executed a full stop. He laughed. "Ran out of snappy comebacks?" "Hush. I'm trying to think of one. ↗

— Ilona Andrews

#hilarious #ilona-andrews #kate #magic #age

Terrorism is just a whole other level of anger management issues. ↗

— Thisuri Wanniarachchi

#hilarious #humor #terrorism #anger

An artist who painted a face was now 'playing with the idea of portraiture,' or 'exploring push-pull aesthetics,' or toying with contradictions like 'menacing-slash-playful,' but he or she was never, ever, just painting a face. ↗

— Steve Martin

#hilarious-nerd #art