#humor

Unseen University had never admitted women, muttering something about problems with the plumbing, but the real reason was an unspoken dread that if women were allowed to mess around with magic they would probably be embarrassingly good at it… ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#fantasy #humor #women #equality

It kind of struck me how great it would be to go out with a guy that size. And if you, you know, got tired of dating him, you could always use him as a house or something. ↗

— Catherine Gilbert Murdock

#funny #humor #humour #size #dating

You'll need to do a better job, Annabelle. No more dates like the first one tonight." "Agreed. And no more making me sit through your Power Matches introductions, either. As you so wisely pointed out, helping Portia Powers isn't in my best interests." "Then why are you still trying to talk me into seeing Melanie again?" "Hunger makes me weird." "You got rid of the last one in fourteen minutes. Well done. I'm rewarding you by letting you sit in on all the introductions from now on." She nearly choked on an ice cube. "What are you talking about?" "Exactly what I said. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#humor #hunger #matchmaker #dating

She looked at me, confused. “He hardly knew me. My parents dated and got married before we knew what happened. Let’s just say we were not brought into the loop on that decision.” “That’s weird. I wasn’t brought into the loop with my parents’ marriage either.” “Really? How old were you?” “Twelve months.” She giggled. “I can’t imagine why they didn’t ask your opinion. ↗

— Darynda Jones

#harper #humor #dating

A lot of men tend to want "models" I tell men, unless they look like a model themselves, they can't expect to land one. ↗

— Trisha Ventker

#humor-inspirational #memoir #self-help #dating

The fickleness of the women I love is only equaled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. ↗

— George Bernard Shaw

#love #equality

The fundamentalists were equally stymied. “We were worried about Adam and Steve,” a Baptist minister said. “Should we have been more worried about Rover and Fluffy? ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#shifters #equality

He did not believe in having a sock drawer or a T-shirt drawer. He believed that all drawers were created equal and filled each with whatever fit. My mother would have died. ↗

— John Green

#equality

Have you noticed how Emilio Estevez and Charlie Sheen look nothing alike, and yet they both manage to look exactly like their father, Martin? ↗

— Ken O'Neill

#equality #fiction #humor #equality

I can't take a dick-measuring contest." . . . "I know Meshack has a big one. And from what I've felt, Zulu is big. Both of your dicks are equally big. ↗

— Kenya Wright

#lanore #equality