#humor

I have a beard of fog that I wear on misty mornings. It’s not cigarette smoke, but I’d understand if you wanted to shave it off and inhale it. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#cigarette #fog #funny #humor #inhale

You’re not going to let her do this, are you?” Bones snorted. “Let her? Mate, if you think you can control a woman, you must be single—-and a thousand pounds says she beats your arse. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#cat #humorous #humor

Usually my form of turning someone down was shoving a stake through his heart while smirking, Gotcha! ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#paranormal #romance #humor

Penny: But, he turned out to be really sweet. Sometimes people are layered like that. There’s something totally different underneath than what’s on the surface. Dr Horrible: And sometimes there’s a third even deeper level and that’s the same as the top surface one. Penny: Huh? Dr Horrible: Like with pie. ↗

— 'Dr Horrible' writers

#human-nature #humor #snark #humor

I WILL NOT TOLERATE MENTION OF YOUR ABNORMALITY UNDER THIS ROOF! ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#harry-potter #humor #magic #humor

The person who writes for fools is always sure of a large audience. ↗

— Arthur Schopenhauer

#humor

I still can't believe," Michael said, sotto voce, "that you came to the Vampires' Masquerade Ball dressed as a vampire. ↗

— Jim Butcher

#humor #michael-carpenter #humor

Another Thing I'm Sick of Hearing: If I started that gay rights group, I must be gay. So if i start an animal rights group, what does that make me? A giraffe? ↗

— James Howe

#gay-rights #humor #humor

Obstinate, headstrong girl! ↗

— Jane Austen

#pride-and-prejudice #humor

Don't you know that it is only the very foolish folk who talk sense all the time? (Anne) ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#paradox #humor