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#humor

Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor




If life gives you the wobbles make jelly. ↗


— Magdalena VandenBerg


#food #humor-inspirational #inspirational #food

What grinds me the most is we're sending kids out into the world who don't know how to balance a checkbook, don't know how to apply for a loan, don't even know how to properly fill out a job application, but because they know the quadratic formula we consider them prepared for the world` With that said, I'll admit even I can see how looking at the equation x -3 = 19 and knowing x =22 can be useful. I'll even say knowing x =7 and y= 8 in a problem like 9x - 6y= 15 can be helpful. But seriously, do we all need to know how to simplify (x-3)(x-3i)?? And the joke is, no one can continue their education unless they do. A student living in California cannot get into a four-year college unless they pass Algebra 2 in high school. A future psychologist can't become a psychologist, a future lawyer can't become a lawyer, and I can't become a journalist unless each of us has a basic understanding of engineering. Of course, engineers and scientists use this shit all the time, and I applaud them! But they don't take years of theater arts appreciation courses, because a scientist or an engineer doesn't need to know that 'The Phantom of the Opoera' was the longest-running Broadway musical of all time. Get my point? ↗


— Chris Colfer


#humor #school #art

Everyone wise was once a nerd, but not every awkward loser is able to grow a long beard. I can grow chin stubble, but I'm not cool enough to be a nerd. ↗


— Bauvard


#humor #nerd #wisdom #funny

It's been said that adults spend the first two years of their children's lives trying to make them walk and talk, and the next sixteen years trying to get them to sit down and shut up. It's the same way with potty training: Most adults spend the first few years of a child's life cheerfully discussing pee and poopies, and how important it is to learn to put your pee-pee and poo-poo in the potty like big people do. But once children have mastered the art of toilet training, they are immeadiately forbidden to ever talk about poop, pee, toilets and other bathroom-related subjects again. Such things are now considered rude and vulgar, and are no longer rewarded with praise and cookies and juice boxes. One day you're a superstar because you pooped in the toilet like a big boy, and the next day you're sitting in the principal's office because you said the word "poopy" in American History class (which, if you ask me, is the perfect place to say that word). ↗


— Dav Pilkey


#potty-humor #toilet-training #art

Ares sighed "What are the three words said most often in our house?" "Not tonight, Ares?" Than offered. "Funny," Ares growled. "Cara never says that. ↗


— Larissa Ione


#sex #funny

Huge Jackman has divorced his wife and happened upon my picture in some old article and decided that I'm the woman for him? ~ Susan ↗


— Sherrilyn Kenyon


#humor #funny

I’m currently imagining a few creative ways of causing you extraordinary amounts of pain.” Kingsley raised his chin. Mere inches separated their faces. “Stop flirting. You know we don’t have time for that. ↗


— Tiffany Reisz


#humour #funny

May a man live well-, and long-enough, to leave many joyful widows behind him. ↗


— Roman Payne


#funny #humor #humour #living #men

Whenever I open one of your emails it’s like you’re right there next to me, whispering your most personal computer virus into my hard drive. ↗


— Benson Bruno


#funny #humor #innuendo #intimacy #funny

If gossipers were clocks, they’d go tock-tock, tock-tock, tock-tock… ↗


— Benson Bruno


#gossip #humor #time #funny






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