#humor

Don't look at me in that tone of voice. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #wordplay #humor

Max, you're the last of the hybrids who still has...a soul.' ... 'She doesn't have soul,' Gazzy scoffed. 'Have you ever seen her dance? ↗

— James Patterson

#maximum-ride #humor

I hated sports. I hated sports, and I hated people who played them, and I hated people who watched them, and I hated people who didn't hate people who watched or played them. ↗

— John Green

#just-like-me #humor

To be is to do - Socrates To do is to be - Sartre Do Be Do Be Do - Sinatra ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#humor

The only difference between Hitler and Bush is that Hitler was elected. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#politics #humor

I like to have a martini, Two at the very most. After three I'm under the table, after four I'm under my host. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#drunken-behaviour #humor #humor

I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity. ↗

— George Carlin

#humor #individuality #retort #humor

If you drink much from a bottle marked 'poison' it is certain to disagree with you sooner or later. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#humor #humor

Adam was but human—this explains it all. He did not want the apple for the apple's sake, he wanted it only because it was forbidden. The mistake was in not forbidding the serpent; then he would have eaten the serpent. ↗

— Mark Twain

#fallibility #humor #sin #humor

You looove me. (holds out arms) You love me this much. ↗

— James Patterson

#humor #love #love-struck #max #maxride