#humor

I don't see why ogling same-sex kissing should be the exclusive domain of frat boys whacking off to lesbian action, that's so sexist. Feminism should be all inclusive- it should be about sexual liberation, equal pay for equal work, and the fundamental girl right of boy2boy appreciation. ↗

— Rachel Cohn

#sex #equality

What is the sound of one hand clapping? What is the weight of a single grain of sand? The answer is equal to my interest in the message you are about to leave so make it short. -- Mitch Hertzog's voice mail message. ↗

— Meg Cabot

#equality

In a werewolf pack, you cannot interfere with the mate choice of a clan fellow. You cannot intentionally harm that werewolf’s chosen mate. You are not, however, required to help that person should he find himself in a life - threatening situation. Somehow, Zeb had managed to stumble into several such situations in the few months since he ’d been engaged to Jolene. He’d had several hunting “accidents” while visiting the McClaine farm, even though he didn’t hunt. The brakes on his car had failed while he was driving home from the farm—twice. Also, a running chainsaw mysteriously fell on him from a hayloft. He would never get that pinkie toe back. ↗

— Molly Harper

#hunting #pinkie-toe #vampire #werewolf #dating

And finally, in our time a beard is the one thing that a woman cannot do better than a man, or if she can her success is assured only in a circus. ↗

— John Steinbeck

#humor #equality

Beer has that Olympic medal color,” Rot replied, “but does it have a winning taste? I’d hardly call silver a champion flavor. No, I’ll stick to my red wine.”  ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#drink #drinking #funny #gold #humor

I don’t know if you have had the same experience, but the snag I always come up against when I’m telling a story is this dashed difficult problem of where to begin it. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humour #jeeves #jeeves-and-wooster #wodehouse #wooster

My experiences thus far had me planning to throttle the first Tudor historian I met upon my return for gross dereliction of duty. ↗

— Deborah Harkness

#history #humor #experience

Love is like a piece of chocalate. It's looks and tastes good, but it's dark. What really matters is the inside. ↗

— Touaxia Vang

#fun #humor #life #love #experience

Don't believe anything I say. My point of view is merely objective. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #objectivity #funny

My life was going to flash before my eyes, but it decided to hide behind my eyes and quake with terror instead. ↗