#humor

Do you know what breakfast cereal is made of? It's made of all those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners! ↗

— Roald Dahl

#humor #food

I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#humor #food

Blood may be thicker than water, but it's certainly not as thick as ketchup. Nor does it go as well with French fries. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #blood #crazy #culinary #food

Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant. ↗

— Scott Adams

#fish #food #humor #wisdom #food

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt. ↗

— Scott Adams

#humor #life #food

I had a missed call. It’s probably the all you can eat buffet calling to say, “Come back! We know you can eat just a little bit more.”
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#eating #food #funny #gorge #humor

Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. ↗

— Alex Levin

#drinking #food-groups #humor #irish #food

How as a young girl, Ismat Chugtai convinced her father to excuse her from learning how to cook, and give her instead the opportunity to go to school and get an education: “Women cook food Ismat. When you go to your in-laws what will you feed them?” he asked gently after the crisis was explained to him. “If my husband is poor, then we will make khichdi and eat it and if he is rich, we will hire a cook,” I answered. My father realised his daughter was a terror and that there wasn’t a thing he could do about it. ↗

— Ismat Chughtai

#education

The F word turns me on, she whispered. The F word? Food He threw back his head and laughed. It rumbled up out of his chest and felt so good it startled him. For the first time in years,his laughter was spontaneous. It wasn`t tinged with bitterness and cynicism. ↗

— Sandra Brown

#humor #laughter #sandra-brown #food

Don't eat till you're full, eat till you're tired. ↗

— Andrew Zimmern

#humor #food