No subscription or hidden extras
Read through the most famous quotes by topic #humor
Two things happen when you get to be old. One, you gather experience and knowledge. You learn from your mistakes, and thereby offer wisdom to others. The second thing that happens is that you grow forgetful, ornery and senile, and when you offer advice, well, you sometimes just don't know what you're talking about. Often it's hard for everyone-including me-to know the difference. ↗
May we do it again? She sounds remarkably bright and cheerful. 'And I didn't bleed. My mother said I would experience great agony.' 'Half an hour.' 'I beg your pardon? Your mumbling.' Eyes closed, I attempt to enunciate a little more clearly. 'In half an hour or so. Probably. And your mother was misinformed.' 'What am I suppose to do in the meantime?' 'Oh. Read a Sermon. Embroider something ↗
Listen up cowboy, I don’t need my mind changed. I’m perfectly fine the way things are and you don’t know a damned thing about me so if you don’t mind, I really need to get home. Goodbye Tyler.” I turned on my heel and started walking. “Princess, get in the truck, I’ll give you a lift.” He called. “No!” I shouted over my shoulder and kept on walking. “What’s a man got to do for a date with you?!” He shouted back. Oh My God really? “For starters use proper grammar! ↗
Most people unfamiliar with the men in a new town might search for love until they find it. I picked out some guy on my second day in LA, who worked at the local bicycle shop, and handed my virginity to him. “You can fill a tire? Sounds good to me. Let’s call it a date.” Needless to say he wasn’t Mr. Right. ↗
#promiscuity #sex #dating
In the final round of the game, if your company has admitted women to the play, I do not recommend that you vote for your paramour, or for the member of the company who has taken your fancy. In my experience it rarely leads to success; and your fellows will notice and make fun of your noble gesture for weeks. ↗
