#humorous

For the love of mercy, I cannot walk into mediation with a swollen vagina, Cash. Please.” I smile against her thigh, rubbing my scratchy face against the softness of her skin. “Is that what I’m doing?” Innocence—fuck no. I can’t even fake that shit. ↗

— Pella Grace

#romance #love

Leah" Olivia says quietly, "if you point at me again I'm going to break that manicured finger right off your hand. Now turn around and smile, your daughter is waking up. ↗

— Tarryn Fisher

#humorous #love

Listen, I'd rather lie naked in a plowed field under an incontinent horse for a week than have to read that paragraph again! ↗

— Diane Ackerman

#humor #humorous #love

When I need some striking inspiration about deep depression for my new painting, I just need to go to check my bank account... ↗

— Hiroko Sakai

#bank-account #depression #funny #humorous #inspiration

You gotta want it. ↗

— Bill Murray

#humorous #inspirational #inspirational

Always take a compliment, even if it’s not yours ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#humour #life #love #philosophical #relationships

If laughter is the best medicine, let's OD together. ↗

— Michael P. Clutton

#humor-inspirational #humorous-quotations #humor

Worse day ever!" I whined to Ellie. "Oh, worse than the time you got pulled over and the cop said 'papers' and you said 'scissors, I win' and he didn't laugh? ↗

— Sophie Monroe

#humor

Any good broadcast, not just an Olympic broadcast, should have texture to it. It should have information, should have some history, should have something that's offbeat, quirky, humorous, and where called for it, should have journalism, and judiciously it should also have commentary. That's my ideal. ↗

— Bob Costas

#any #broadcast #called #commentary #good

Why does everything have to be so hard? [Eragon] wondered. Because, said Saphira, everyone wants to eat, but no one wants to be eaten. ↗

— Christopher Paolini

#inheritance-cycle #humor