#humour

Can`t you see that I`m only advising you to beg yourself not to be so dumb? ↗

— Titus Petronius Niger

#humour #irony #latin #nonsense #satyre

I don't know if you've ever been covered head to toe in prickle bush, but let me tell you, it's not a pleasant experience, as I'm sure you can imagine. ↗

— Elizabeth Newton

#fiction #humour #sci-fi #science-fiction #train

Why couldn't Rachel be a little more specific about the type of person she was? Goodness knew; if she were a hippie I'd talk to her about her drug experiences, the zodiac, tarot cards. If she were left-wing I'd look miserable, hate Greece, and eat baked beans straight from the tin. If she were the sporty type I'd play her at... chess and backgammon and things. ↗

— Martin Amis

#sport #experience

Because the first time they met... Y-da: "You know, Y-naga-san, the more makeup you put on, the more you look like a guy in drag. So I'm going to call you F-mio!" Y-naga: "I-I like this person!" The moment she fell in love. ↗

— Fumi Yoshinaga

#friendship #humour #manga #food

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man. ↗

— Bertrand Russell

#democracy #funny #humour #politics #revolution

My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and the part that is original is not good. ↗

— Samuel Johnson

#funny #humour #review #funny

This is America. We’re entitled to our opinions.” “Wrong. This is Texas. And my opinion is the only one that counts. ↗

— Susan Elizabeth Phillips

#arrogant #call-me-irresistible #funny #humour #sep

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of being well-preserved, but to skid sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, still screaming, 'Whoo what a ride! ↗

— Theresa Hollis

#humour #thriller #life

Please sell $10,000 worth of stock — we have decided to lead a mad and extravagant life. ↗

— Harry Crosby

#humour #mad #money #stocks #life

No, she laughed." How on earth could that be done? If you try to laugh and say ‘No’ at the same time, it sounds like neighing — yet people are perpetually doing it in novels. If they did it in real life they would be locked up. ↗

— Hilaire Belloc

#on-people-in-books #writing #life