#joke

I wrote. I wrote all the things I couldn’t say to him. I wrote about how much I believed in us. I wrote about how much I trusted God. I wrote that I was praying for him. I wrote down all the jokes I could remember, which weren’t many. ↗

— Kimberly Novosel

#heartbroken #jokes #journal #journaling #writer

It sometimes seemed to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the joke, and she the other half. Otherwise, it would not be love, but something completely else–pity or entertainment, or stand-up comedy. ↗

— Tao Lin

#love #relationships #love

Don't stop there. I suppose there are also, what, vampires and werewolves and zombies?" "Of course there are. Although you mostly find zombies farther south, where the voudun priests are." "What about mummies? Do they only hang around Egypt?" "Don't be ridiculous. No one believes in mummies. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #joke #mummies #sarcasm #vampire

And what exactly is a dream and what exactly is a joke. ↗

— Syd Barrett

#joke #life #reality #syd-barrett #truth

A man could shoot a squirrel out of a tree from a distance of sixty feet. But he couldn't vomit into a bucket or pee into a pot only two feet away. It was one of the great mysteries of life. ↗

— Maggie Osborne

#man-jokes #mystery-of-life #silver-lining #life

Well when I made my first record I thought it would be a good joke to have me on one side, have the lable say John Fahey on one side, and this guy Blind Joe Death on the other side. ↗

— John Fahey

#death #first #good #guy #i

Every man who is high up likes to think he has done it all himself; and the wife smiles, and lets it go at that. It's our only joke. Every woman knows that. ↗

— J. M. Barrie

#every #every man #go #high #himself

I mean, I've had bartenders and waiters and waitresses make a comment about a joke of mine, like pointing out some sort of logic error or something that I've never even thought about, and they're right. ↗

— Todd Barry

#comment #error #even #had #i

It is a good deed to forget a poor joke. ↗

— Brendan Behan

#forget #good #good deed #joke #poor

I don't consider myself a comic but a performer. A comic tells bad jokes. ↗

— Sandra Bernhard

#comic #consider #i #jokes #myself