#joke

I don't consider myself a comedian because I don't really concern myself too much with jokes. ↗

— Paul Rudd

#comedian #concern #consider #i #jokes

You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble. ↗

— Mark Russell

#ford #gets #jerry #jerry ford #joke

Lacroix has been fantastic. He's very nice. He gets the joke, and I think that's a good thing. ↗

— Jennifer Saunders

#been #fantastic #gets #good #good thing

There was the joke about Switzerland being an island surrounded by land. This was never true. ↗

— Samuel Schmid

#being #island #joke #land #never

Sometimes people get passionate about the obscure jokes. ↗

— Martin Short

#get #jokes #obscure #passionate #people

I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond their control is not funny to them or their families. ↗

— Maria Shriver

#beyond #consider #control #families #funny

Lily, the girl who’d talked back to the jock, said, “I want to get as far away from my parents as possible. We’re like potassium and water.” The other kids laughed and I said, “Huh?” “If potassium comes into contact with water, it instantly combusts,” Lily said slowly so if she was talking to a child. ↗

— Marta Acosta

#nerd-joke #science #funny

I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way. ↗

— Allan Sloan

#grew #i #i write #jokes #puns

I can never tell a joke, I've always found it easier to just fall over. ↗

— Norman Wisdom

#easier #fall #found #i #i can

Our country is the best country in the world. We are swimming in prosperity and our President is the best president in the world. We have larger apples and better cotton and faster and more beautiful machines. This makes us the greatest country in the world. Unemployment is a myth. Dissatisfaction is a fable. In preparatory school America is beautiful. It is the gem of the ocean and it is too bad. It is bad because people believe it all. Because they become indifferent. Because they marry and reproduce and vote and they know nothing. ↗

— John Cheever

#delusions #dissatisfaction #fables #indifference #jokes