#joke

And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle - Flint alongside her - poke him in the eye, Angelina - it was a joke, professor, it was a joke... ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #joke #humor

You'll have to excuse Zo's manners. She was raised by a group of indigenous swamp wallabies and is at times uncomfortable conversing with civilized humans." "Look, it's like this-" Zo started to say, but then she interrupted herself. "Swamp wallabies? ↗

— Jennifer Lynn Barnes

#joke #tattoo #humor

...the primary paradox that man is superior to all the things around him and yet is at their mercy. ↗

— G.K. Chesterton

#humor #humour #jokes #humor

I dont just randomly kill people.....I kill people when its funny ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#funny

Life would be perfect if monster would stop farting. ↗

— David Chuka

#humor #jokes #monsters #life

Oh you rebel you! ↗

— Mallory hopkins

#funny #hailey-larsen #inside-joke #love #rebel

Don't be ridiculous. Brussels sprouts are awful. Jail is just jail. ↗

— Mora Early

#jail #jokes #sarcasm #food

My old man taught me to never trust anything that bleeds for three days and doesn't die. ↗

— Tommy Tran

#humor #joke #laugh #love #relationships

Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she’s hosting the world’s biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don’t mind, I’m the Cool Girl. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#burping #cheap-beer #cool-girls #dirty-jokes #gang-bang

I didn't pretend to know Eli at all, but even so, I'd noticed that his manner was slightly hard to read. It was something in the way he talked that made it difficult to tell whether he was kidding or serious or what. This bothered me. Or intrigued me. Or both. ↗

— Sarah Dessen Along for the Ride

#difficuly #feelings #infatuation #intrigue #joke