#jokes

It sometimes seemed to him that for love to work, it had to be fair, that he should tell only half the joke, and she the other half. Otherwise, it would not be love, but something completely else–pity or entertainment, or stand-up comedy. ↗

— Tao Lin

#love #relationships #love

I love my jokes. ↗

— Dave Chappelle

#i love #jokes #love

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the difference between reality and an imagined thought or image. What we continually think about eventually will manifest in our lives. ↗

— Robert Collier

#between #cannot #continually #difference #eventually

I don't care what the haters and naysayers say. If they make jokes about me, I'll laugh because they'll probably be funny. ↗

— Paula Deen

#because #care #funny #haters #i

Up until college age I was using the typical little-boy dummy that sits on the knee and makes woodpecker jokes. My first original character didn't happen until later, and that was Jose the Jalapeno on a Stick. ↗

— Jeff Dunham

#character #college #dummy #first #happen

Zac Efron is like a brother who's just goofy and crazy. He plays a lot of practical jokes. ↗

— Ashley Tisdale

#crazy #efron #goofy #jokes #just

It's the teenage and university crowd, so we give them lots of sex jokes and gross humour. ↗

— Keenen Ivory Wayans

#give #gross #humour #jokes #lots

You know, my first album, some of those jokes I'd done for twelve years because I couldn't throw 'em out. ↗

— Ron White

#because #done #first #i #jokes

On the set I make jokes I can't get too involved, or it turns into sentimental soup. I try to keep it light. ↗

— Michael Haneke

#i #into #involved #jokes #keep

I like to hold the microphone cord like this, I pinch it together, then I let it go, then you hear a whole bunch of jokes at once. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#cord #go #hear #hold #i