#jokes

teenagers are never joking. when seeking to prove a point, principals and teachers should remember that teenagers are never, ever sarcasic or ironic. if they say "I wish someone would drop a bomb on this school right now," that means they have arranged for a nuclear arsenal to be emptied onto the school and should be immediately suspended and ridiculed. if they say they were merely coming up with a joking excuse to postpone a bio test, reply that all jokes are funny, and that since dropping a bomb on a school is not funny, it is therefore not a joke. ↗

— David Levithan

#irony #jokes #sarcasm #teenagers #teens

If they were the jokes, I was the punch line. ↗

— Kimberly Novosel

#punchline #love

Musician jokes are a kind of joke that usually have to do with how much money someone makes. Musicians are always starving, so they're really mean to each other about who makes what. ↗

— Jackson Browne

#always #each #how #joke #jokes

My dog was with me all the time. I talked to my dog. She was my best buddy. I shared all my secrets with her, but I don't think I every really tried jokes out with the dog. ↗

— Cathy Guisewite

#buddy #dog #every #her #i

Don't make jokes about food. ↗

— David Lean

#food #jokes #make

When you are in a room and your job is to write jokes 10 hours a day, your mind starts going to strange places. ↗

— Seth MacFarlane

#going #hours #job #jokes #mind

Yes, I would say my comedy is grunge, evidenced by the fact my jokes have put an end to big-hair glam comedy. ↗

— Joel McHale

#end #evidenced #fact #glam #grunge

I have my own gym. When you do jokes and they sell, you get a gym. ↗

— Don Rickles

#gym #i #jokes #my own #own

I told jokes badly. ↗

— Don Rickles

#i #jokes #told

Our country is the best country in the world. We are swimming in prosperity and our President is the best president in the world. We have larger apples and better cotton and faster and more beautiful machines. This makes us the greatest country in the world. Unemployment is a myth. Dissatisfaction is a fable. In preparatory school America is beautiful. It is the gem of the ocean and it is too bad. It is bad because people believe it all. Because they become indifferent. Because they marry and reproduce and vote and they know nothing. ↗

— John Cheever

#delusions #dissatisfaction #fables #indifference #jokes